Logan Bought a Cryptozoo, Self Love, Blah Blah Trump, it’s NEWS (2024-01-05)
- Broadcast Date: 2024-01-05
- YouTube Archive: Logan Bought a Cryptozoo, Self Love, Blah Blah Trump, it’s NEWS (ID:
cx5fBPbLfBQ) - Approx length: 2:08:10
- Ingest run:
tools/runs/cx5fBPbLfBQ/
Overview
Case Blackwell delivers a dense two-hour broadcast covering Logan Paul’s CryptoZoo refund launch, a contractually mandated ‘nice’ Munch & Crum debate on January 6th that Crum wins decisively, a clown interview mix-up resolved by Jeff Ripple, Liliana’s auto-sexuality breakdown amid personal housing delays, and a DJ Newsic musical finale featuring the debut of Kirby the secret fifth Ninja Turtle endorsing Splinter for president.
Segment rundown
| Start | End | Segment | Notes |
|---|---|---|---|
| 00:15:21 | 00:22:47 | News: Opening Chat & Lethal Company Discussion | Case opens with chat interaction, discusses Lethal Company streaming marathon and viewer requests for news stories. |
| 00:18:44 | 00:21:07 | News: Goku Bracken Interview | Case interviews Goku Bracken who repeatedly snaps his neck; ultra instinct music forces emergency feed cut. |
| 00:22:47 | 00:27:43 | News: Chat Persona Segment: Epstein List & George Lucas | Chat joins as on-air personality; discusses Epstein list, George Lucas mention, and Logan Paul CryptoZoo pivot. |
| 00:27:43 | 00:45:08 | News: Logan Paul CryptoZoo Refund Announcement | Case reads Logan Paul’s statement launching buyback website and $2.3M personal commitment; Case claims $1.5M personal loss. |
| 00:45:08 | 00:51:47 | Hype Train: Hype Train as Tim Paul: Kid-in-Fleur Scheme | Hype Train appears as ‘Tim Paul’ pitching digital child-influencer hybrids; website returns no results. |
| 00:52:58 | 01:07:17 | News: Conspiracy Time with Clementine: Secret Fifth Ninja Turtle | Clementine unveils Kirby the cancelled fifth Ninja Turtle, Beyonce/Illuminati corn syrup theory, and biblical angel redesigns. |
| 01:08:19 | 01:23:20 | Munch & Crum: Munch Forced Nice: Jan 6 Insurrection vs Protest Debate | Sub goal forces Munch to be contractually nice; Munch argues Jan 6 was protest, Crum argues insurrection; Crum wins poll decisively. |
| 01:23:20 | 01:41:01 | News: Call for an Expert: Steve Copeland Clown Interview | Jeff Ripple researches clown duo; Case interviews impostor Lou Jacobs claiming to be Steve Copeland; real Steve Copeland video shown. |
| 01:41:32 | 01:53:51 | News: Auto-Sexuality Segment with Liliana | Liliana breaks down auto-sexual orientation; Case and Liliana test five signs; personal housing update reveals March move-in delay. |
| 01:53:51 | 02:07:24 | DJ Newsic: DJ Newsic Finale: Trump Colorado Ballot & Kirby the Ninja Turtle | DJ Newsic sings Trump Supreme Court appeal; brings out Kirby the fifth Ninja Turtle who endorses Splinter for president. |
| 02:07:24 | 02:08:10 | News: Raid Outro to Still Do | Case raids Still Do playing Last of Us Part 2; signs off for weekend. |
Characters
- Case Blackwell (speaking) — Anchors full broadcast; claims $1.5M CryptoZoo loss; reveals apartment move delayed to March.
- Pepito (speaking) — executive producer. Referenced as ‘Pappito’ by Case; produces show and cuts Goku Bracken feed.
- Crum (Leonard Crum) (speaking) — debate analyst. Wins Jan 6 insurrection debate poll decisively; score updated to 20-point lead over Munch.
- Munch (Ralph Munchcut) (speaking) — debate analyst. Contractually forced to be ‘nice’ at 30 subs; argues Jan 6 was protest; loses debate poll.
- Hype Train (speaking) — musical correspondent. Appears as ‘Tim Paul’ pitching kid-in-fluer digital child hybrids; website nonexistent.
- Clementine (speaking) — conspiracy correspondent. Reveals secret fifth Ninja Turtle Kirby; connects Beyonce lyrics to corn syrup Illuminati theory.
- Jeff Ripple (speaking) — correspondent. Researches Steve Copeland clown duo; confused by Show Biz David website.
- Liliana (speaking) — desk partner. Breaks down auto-sexuality with clinical sources; reveals housing delay and cat wait until March.
- DJ Newsic (speaking) — musical finale host. Euro-dance Trump Colorado ballot coverage; debuts Kirby the Ninja Turtle character.
- Peter Gibbon (speaking) — news stowaway. Mentioned as crawlspace resident; Case references ‘cramp between Peter and Pepito’.
- Kendelle (speaking) — in-studio contributor. Walks through studio discussing Poppy sweepstakes; naps on camera with lights dimmed.
- Goku Bracken (speaking) — call-in guest. Repeatedly snaps Case’s neck; ultra instinct music triggers emergency eject.
- Chat (speaking) — call-in guest. Personified as on-air personality; discusses Epstein list and George Lucas.
- Steve Copeland / Lou Jacobs (speaking) — call-in guest. Impostor Lou Jacobs poses as clown Steve Copeland; real Steve Copeland video shown post-interview.
Storyline updates
- Munch & Crum Rivalry [01:08:19]: [01:08:19] Sub goal forces Munch to be contractually ‘nice’ for debate; Crum wins Jan 6 insurrection poll decisively; score updated to Crum +20.
Lore notes
- [01:47:32] Case Blackwell: [01:47:32] Apartment move-in delayed to March; builder originally promised October then November then February.
- [01:48:03] Kendelle: [01:48:03] Cannot get cat until March due to housing delay; currently in crowded temporary apartment.
- [00:21:42] Pepito: [00:21:42] Case refers to Pepito as ‘Pappito’ during Goku Bracken emergency cut.
- [01:08:19] Munch (Ralph Munchcut): [01:08:19] Contractual sub goal (30 subs) forces Munch to be ‘nice’ for debate segment; Pepito drafted contract.
- [01:22:05] Crum (Leonard Crum): [01:22:05] Score updated to Crum 20 points ahead of Munch; Munch claims he updated score yesterday.
- [00:45:41] Hype Train: [00:45:41] Manifests as ‘Tim Paul’ with kid-in-fluer scheme (digital child-influencer hybrids); hotecohospital.paul website returns no results.
- [00:54:37] Clementine: [00:54:37] Reveals cancelled fifth Ninja Turtle ‘Kirby’ from unmade TMNT 4; claims Kirby disrupts Renaissance naming convention.
- [02:02:08] DJ Newsic: [02:02:08] Debuts Kirby the Ninja Turtle character who endorses Splinter for president and all Supreme Court seats.
Transcript
Full timestamped transcript: