Clementine Verne
Clementine Verne (often billed simply as Clementine, with ASR variants Vernon / Burn / Redacted) is the original conspiracy correspondent of Barely Informed News — a man in a towering curly wig who ran the desk before Guy Redacted took over the modern Conspiracy Desk branding.
Overview & Persona
Verne hosts deep-dive rabbit holes under banners like Conspiracy Time, Conspiracy Corner, and Unvernished Truth (a Verne pun). He treats Wayback Machine pages, ten-view YouTube uploads, and chat prompts as primary sources — secret fifth Ninja Turtles, Illuminati recruitment sites, Sydney Sweeney alien psy-ops, basement Dobby invasions, pet-euthanasia/fast-food DNA chains, and British-accent intelligence bias.
After stretches of being “silenced” or in hiding (including a Mariana Trench disappearance and call-ins as an ex-correspondent), he still resurfaces for grass-eating supreme conspiracies and related bits. Guy Redacted later formalizes the same desk under Conspiracy Desk / Truth Zone branding.
Signature bits
- Prior host of Conspiracy Desk (Conspiracy Time / Unvernished Truth era)
- Curly black wig, bearded delivery, “CV” chat shorthand
- Oven haircut lore (partial burn while cooking ham)
- Basement Dobby alien feuds and spirit bombs of truth
Appearances
| Episode | Notes |
|---|---|
| 2025-09-11 | conspiracy correspondent. Insisted grass-eating is the supreme conspiracy, citing monkey lawnmower cave paintings and grass bread. |
| 2025-05-21 | call-in guest. Soft-banned viewer who whispered final rap to close stream. |
| 2025-03-31 | conspiracy analyst. Hijacked segment on British accent intelligence bias via Google results. |
| 2025-03-04 | Returned from “seven layers below the Mariana Trench” for Conspiracy Time casino rant. |
| 2024-06-25 | call-in guest. Claimed former BIN correspondent in hiding; warned Justin Powers is a John Oliver sleeper agent. |
| 2024-06-07 | Referenced as former conspiracy expert who has been “silenced” and disappeared. |
| 2024-05-10 | Investigated pet euthanasia / fast food conspiracy; pivoted to hot dog DNA study. |
| 2024-04-16 | Investigated an escaped basement Dobby summoning a Los Angeles invasion. |
| 2024-04-10 | Battle-rapped basement Dobby after oven haircut; transported Case to a secret location. |
| 2024-04-04 | Runs Conspiracy Corner; Bill Nye search ends with Nye as ally and a spirit bomb of truth. |
| 2024-03-14 | Investigates House of Illuminati 2022 recruitment site via Wayback Machine. |
| 2024-02-02 | Hosts Unvernished Truth on the Doctor Who Watcher conspiracy. |
| 2024-01-27 | Covered Pentagon UAP report and alien-invasion how-to tape. |
| 2024-01-12 | Conspiracy Time with red-hair disguise; 10-foot Brazilian aliens and Netty Light illuminati. |
| 2024-01-05 | Conspiracy Time: secret fifth Ninja Turtle Kirby; Beyoncé / Renaissance corn-syrup Illuminati riff. |
| 2023-12-31 | Hosts Best Conspiracy awards block; anti-media rant. |
| 2023-12-30 | Deconstructs Anyone But You as alien horniness psy-op; Blue Lives Matter flag as gray-alien laser beacon. |
Notable Quotes
- Chat shorthand treats him as CV (“CV loves you — throw it in the chat”) during Conspiracy Time tosses (2024-01-05).
Notable Moments
- 00:52:58 (2024-01-05): Conspiracy Time — secret fifth Ninja Turtle Kirby and Renaissance / Illuminati digression.
- 1:15:21 (2023-12-30): Sydney Sweeney Anyone But You framed as alien horniness psy-op.
- [01:51:56] (2024-04-10): Oven door burns off part of his hair while cooking ham; calls it an “oven haircut.”
- [14:08] (2024-06-07): Described as silenced / disappeared former conspiracy expert before Guy Redacted’s desk era.
Open Questions
- Exact handoff moment from Verne’s Conspiracy Time branding to Guy Redacted’s Conspiracy Desk
- Whether “Clementine Redacted” billing is a transitional alias or a one-off ASR merge with Guy
See also: Conspiracy Desk, Guy Redacted, On-Air Talent.