Nohm Lives? Armie Hammers Back? Space Catapluts? All things that COULD be NEWS (2024-06-18)
- Broadcast Date: 2024-06-18
- YouTube Archive: Nohm Lives? Armie Hammers Back? Space Catapluts? All things that COULD be NEWS (ID:
ZFkYtTUot-E) - Approx length: 2:50:16
- Ingest run:
tools/runs/ZFkYtTUot-E/
Overview
Barely Informed News investigates the Noam Chomsky death hoax while fending off a wall escape by Peter Gibbon, then pivots to a trailer catch-up featuring Condor Man and Metroid Prime 4. Jeff Ripple dissects Armie Hammer’s cannibal-text redemption tour, Jeb Nogget serves up a Big Mac taco and a paper airplane disaster, and new conspiracy correspondent Guy Redacted uncovers a Smurf-led anarcho-monogamous society beneath the blueberry discourse. The broadcast closes with a glitched Munch & Crum debate on Hammer’s guilt, a tied 100-100 score, and Case’s abortive attempt to switch to Elden Ring for DLC prep.
Segment rundown
| Start | End | Segment | Notes |
|---|---|---|---|
| 00:04 | 09:19 | News: Pepito Cold Open & Station Sign-On | Pepito delivers the top-of-hour broadcast sign-on as a dog, imposes scroll tariffs, and manages early technical difficulties with alerts. |
| 09:19 | 14:46 | News: Fake Drake Call-In Bit | Case attempts to patch in a Drake impersonator for a celebrity call-in; the fake Drake rambles about Canada, syrup, mental struggles, and declares a presidential run. |
| 14:46 | 29:59 | News: Noam Chomsky Death Hoax & Peter Gibbon Wall Escape | Case investigates conflicting reports of Chomsky’s death; Peter Gibbon interrupts from the walls, claims squatter’s rights under a ‘wall amendment,’ and is eventually banished back for a month. |
| 30:33 | 59:34 | News: Trent at the Movies: Trailers Catch-Up | Trent screens Metroid Prime 4, Smile 2, Condor Man (1981), A Quiet Place: The Road Ahead game, and Fear of a Black Hat trailers; Case and Trent debate hat styles and practical effects. |
| 01:03:33 | 01:22:21 | Amongst the Web: Jeff Ripple: Armie Hammer Breaks Silence | Jeff Ripple reviews Armie Hammer’s Access Hollywood interview addressing cannibal texts, abuse allegations, and comeback attempts; Case and Ripple debate forgiveness and Hollywood redemption. |
| 01:22:21 | 01:50:26 | How To with Jeb: Big Mac Taco, Latte Art, Paper Airplane & High Notes | Jeb demonstrates a Big Mac taco recipe, latte art tutorial, a 60-second paper airplane (which Case fails to replicate), and vocal coaching for high notes; Jeb’s Dad’s board interjects; AI-generated ‘Jeff is the Wood’ song debuts. |
| 01:51:13 | 02:21:29 | News: Conspiracy Time: Blueberry Conspiracy & Smurf Interview | Guy Redacted investigates whether blueberries are actually blue/good; deep-dive into colloidal silver turning a man blue, Randy’s anti-blue-food rant, and a live interview with a self-identified Smurf who reveals Smurf biology, Mr. Pibb transmutation, and anarcho-monogamous society. |
| 02:21:29 | 02:43:00 | Munch & Crum: Debate: Is Armie Hammer a Cannibal? + Poll Chaos | Munch defends Hammer as a sexually gifted deviant; Crum argues he’s a terrible guy on an apology tour; poll graphics glitch, scores tie at 100, Munch claims moral victory; Case hires Munch for a ‘mini peace task force.‘ |
| 02:43:00 | 02:50:16 | News: Wrap-Up & Elden Ring Transition Attempt | Pepito returns cheesed-out; Case checks on Kendall, then attempts to switch to Elden Ring setup for Shadow of the Erdtree prep while Drake lingers on the line. |
Characters
- Case Blackwell (speaking) — Anchors the broadcast, manages Drake call-in, investigates Chomsky hoax, banishes Peter Gibbon, hosts trailers and debate, preps Elden Ring character for DLC.
- Pepito (speaking) — executive producer. Delivers cold open as a dog, manages cheese consumption, returns at wrap-up cheesed-out and high-voiced.
- Peter Gibbon (speaking) — news stowaway. Escapes the walls, claims squatter rights via ‘wall amendment,’ interrupts Chomsky segment, banished back for a month.
- Trent (speaking) — correspondent. Hosts Trent at the Movies trailer block; debates Case on hat styles and practical effects.
- Jeff Ripple (speaking) — correspondent. Hosts Amongst the Web segment reviewing Armie Hammer’s interview; spars with Case on Hammer’s redemption.
- Jeb Nogget (speaking) — correspondent. Hosts How To with Jeb from wood shop; demonstrates Big Mac taco, latte art, paper airplane, vocal coaching; contends with Dad’s board and AI song.
- Guy Redacted (speaking) — Debuts as new conspiracy correspondent; runs blueberry conspiracy deep-dive including Smurf interview.
- Munch (Ralph Munchcut) (speaking) — debate analyst. Defends Armie Hammer as sexually gifted, claims debate moral victory at 100, hired for Case’s ‘mini peace task force.’
- Crum (Leonard Crum) (speaking) — debate analyst. Argues Hammer is a terrible guy on apology tour; references upcoming Crum Dick Punch debate prep; ties score at 100 via glitch.
- Kendelle (speaking) — in-studio contributor. Walk-through confirmed at 52:33 and 02:44:39; Case checks on her before Elden Ring transition.
Storyline updates
- Peter Gibbon Wall Saga [15:19]: [15:19] Peter Gibbon escapes the walls, claims ‘first person in the walls claims them’ squatter rights, and is banished back for a month after Chomsky segment.
- Crum Dick Punch [02:23:46]: [02:23:46] Munch references debate happening soon; Case claims to be setting up assets for the Crum Dick Punch execution.
- Beyblade Tournament: Not advanced this episode.
Lore notes
- Peter Gibbon: Claims ‘first person in the walls claims them’ as legal precedent for wall squatting [17:20].
- Crum (Leonard Crum): Crum Dick Punch debate execution prep underway; Case claims to be setting up assets [02:23:46].
- Case Blackwell: Needs to level Elden Ring character to 125-150 for Shadow of the Erdtree expansion; hunting for wet stone and occult modification [02:23:46].
- Guy Redacted: Debuts as network’s new conspiracy correspondent (‘our new conspiracy guy redacted’) [01:51:48].
- Smurf (Blueberry Conspiracy): Self-identified Smurf reveals Smurf biology: mono-coupling society with one queen (Smurfette), larval birth like ‘weak fart,’ 99% mortality en route to incubation hut, Smurf jam + milk = Mr. Pibb [02:14:22-02:17:19].
Transcript
Full timestamped transcript: