New Year, New News (2025-01-06)
- Broadcast Date: 2025-01-06
- YouTube Archive: New Year, New News (ID:
T4WJKaS7Mjk) - Approx length: 2:24:47
- Ingest run:
tools/runs/T4WJKaS7Mjk/
Overview
Case Blackwell returns from a month-long hiatus to a revamped studio featuring a live Cat Cam monitoring two newly adopted bonded cats, Ms. Zorro and Tony Tony. The broadcast covers the January 6 congressional certification of Trump’s electoral victory, a surreal Trip on the Street edition featuring cosmic cats, a tuna-obsessed holiday entity, a future salmon-timeline traveller, and a pregnant time-traveling pizza delivery guy. During Amongst the Web, Crum’s gambling addiction spirals into a $180,000 loss to ChetAI (aka Gorilla), while Jeb Nogget’s deceased father remains trapped in a wooden board dispensing spectral life advice. DJ Newsic closes the stream with a cuddle-salon report from Poland and a zombie Dick Clark rap about New Year’s Eve hat commercialism.
Segment rundown
| Start | End | Segment | Notes |
|---|---|---|---|
| 00:06 | 22:00 | News: Cold Open: Cat Cam Debut & Hype Train Subs | Case returns from month-long hiatus; introduces new cats Ms. Zorro (one-eyed) and Tony Tony via under-bed Cat Cam; Pepito argues about studio vs house; Hype Train runs New Year’s trap beat thanking 25+ months of subs. |
| 22:00 | 36:00 | News: Congress Certifies Trump Victory | Case reads wire copy of Jan 6 certification with Harris presiding; Trump 312 electoral votes, Harris 226; Case and Pepito discuss lack of protests, election legitimacy, and Case’s Florida big-cat zoo tour. |
| 36:00 | 01:08:51 | Trip on the Street: Trip Bradstein: Park Opinions & Pizza Babies | Trip interviews cosmic cat projection, Cantoslaws (tuna-obsessed holiday entity), Bongo Tumble (ICU weed petition), Brad Trippstein (doppelganger rival), future salmon-timeline traveller, Cat-Mando (catfish), pregnant time-traveling pizza delivery guy Rip Blazer, and Xena fan. |
| 01:12:59 | 01:44:10 | Amongst the Web: Video Review & Escalating Gambling Spiral | Case and Crum rate viewer-submitted clips; Crum bets escalating sums on scores (2k → 4k → 8k → 30k → 180k) against Gorilla/ChetAI; Crum loses final $180k wager, claims he’s good for it but doesn’t have cash; Munch would receive payout. |
| 01:46:49 | 02:07:15 | How To with Jeb: Jeb Nogget: Flasher Protocol, Potato Face Mask, Kraven Diet | Jeb’s deceased dad still trapped in wooden board; they debate spectral clothing; Jeb presents WikiHow segments on handling flashers, potato face masks, eating like Kraven the Hunter (Aaron Taylor-Johnson’s 40-lb bulk), and how to pet a cat (Michelangelo finger technique). |
| 02:07:15 | 02:24:47 | DJ Newsic: DJ Newsic: Cuddle Salon Poland & Zombie Dick Clark | DJ Newsic sings cuddle-salon waitlist story from Silesia; introduces zombie Dick Clark who raps about commercialized NYE hat sponsorships (DiscoverCard, Nivea, Planet Fitness); Case closes stream with golden boy shoutout. |
Characters
- Case Blackwell (speaking) — anchor. Returned from month hiatus; debuted Cat Cam with two new cats; read Jan 6 certification; lost $180k gambling bet to Gorilla during Amongst the Web.
- Pepito (speaking) — executive producer. Argued with Case about studio vs house location; threatened to eat cats; ran Hype Train sub acknowledgments; checked Case’s mic before Amongst the Web.
- Crum (Leonard Crum) (speaking) — debate analyst. Compulsively bet escalating sums on video scores during Amongst the Web, culminating in $180k loss to Gorilla; claimed he’s good for the money but lacks liquidity.
- Trip Bradstein (speaking) — field correspondent. Broadcast from park bushes; interviewed surreal parade including cosmic cats, Cantoslaws, ICU weed petitioner, doppelganger Brad Trippstein, future salmon-timeline traveller, catfish Cat-Mando, pregnant time-travel pizza guy, and Xena fan.
- Jeb Nogget (speaking) — instructional host. Father still trapped in wooden board; debated spectral clothing; presented WikiHow segments on flashers, potato face masks, Kraven diet, and cat petting technique.
- DJ Newsic (speaking) — musical finale host. Sang cuddle-salon Poland story; introduced zombie Dick Clark rap about NYE hat commercialism; closed stream with golden boy shoutout.
- Hype Train (speaking) — hype announcer. Ran New Year’s trap beat thanking 25+ months of subs; freestyled through donor list despite Case’s protests.
- Kendelle (speaking) — in-studio contributor. Briefly appeared on camera; advocated for second cat adoption; helped feed/trap cats during dishwasher install; corrected Case on cat-bed credit.
- ChetAI (speaking) — neural co-host. Referred to as ‘Gorilla’ during Amongst the Web betting; accepted Crum’s $180k wager and won; Crum claimed Gorilla doesn’t want his penis as collateral.
Storyline updates
- Crum Dick Punch [01:39:40]: [01:39:40] Crum loses $180k ‘sextuple or nothing’ bet to Gorilla/ChetAI during Amongst the Web; claims he’s good for it but lacks cash; Munch would receive payout per side bet.
- Beyblade Tournament [02:08:19]: [02:08:19] Case mentions needing new sub badges, hype train track, Pepito track for 2025; community pledges Beyblade tournament remains pending.
Lore notes
- [00:12:49] Case Blackwell: Adopted two bonded cats: Ms. Zorro (one-eyed) and Tony Tony; cats hide under bed, monitored via Cat Cam.
- [00:24:36] Case Blackwell: Wife has Christmas and New Year custody of all six children; Case concedes for ‘safety of the children in these trying political times.’
- [01:15:55] Kendelle: Pushed for adopting both bonded cats; fed/trapped cats during dishwasher installation; has video of handling Ms. Zorro on Instagram.
- [01:39:40] Crum (Leonard Crum): Gambling spiral reached $180k liability to Gorilla/ChetAI in single Amongst the Web session; side bet would pay Munch $4k then $180k.
- [01:47:58] Jeb Nogget: Deceased father remains trapped in wooden board; spectral clothing debated; father allegedly sent psychic peace-of-mind gift via transcendental meditation.
- [01:02:38] Trip Bradstein: Encountered doppelganger Brad Trippstein claiming rivalry; interviewed pregnant time-traveling pizza delivery guy Rip Blazer giving birth to living pizza babies.
Transcript
Full timestamped transcript: