Olympic Check In, JD Vamping, and Skibidi Copyrights or SOMETHING that’s NEWS (2024-07-30)
- Broadcast Date: 2024-07-30
- YouTube Archive: Olympic Check In, JD Vamping, and Skibidi Copyrights or SOMETHING that’s NEWS (ID:
0SjXgi9nwxo) - Approx length: 2:51:06
- Ingest run:
tools/runs/0SjXgi9nwxo/
Overview
Barely Informed News covered JD Vance’s viral dolphin post with a live dolphin interview and Hype Train musical derailment, then reported on Twitch’s ‘zombie brand’ status per the Wall Street Journal. The broadcast featured a Munch & Crum sandwich debate, Olympics mascot ridicule, a Chet Guy the Science Eyes segment where Chet paid for a hand-scan penis analysis, a Jambalaya panel revealing Tyler as the secret future ghost of Rick, Guy Redacted’s Trump ear conspiracy analysis, and a How To with Jeb finale involving an O.J. Simpson murder reenactment mistaken for orange juice instructions.
Segment rundown
| Start | End | Segment | Notes |
|---|---|---|---|
| 00:10 | 07:58 | News: Cold Open: Pepito Station Sign-On | Pepito delivers the top-of-hour broadcast sign-on as executive producer, identifying as the dog who produces the show. |
| 07:59 | 12:01 | News: Opening Monologue & Subscriber Thanks | Case Blackwell opens the broadcast, acknowledges new haircut and shirts, reads early subscriptions and bits while bantering with Pepito about countries and national identity. |
| 12:02 | 28:02 | Hype Train: Hype Train Derailment: JD Vance Dolphin Post | Hype Train commandeers the feed with freestyle raps over dolphin beats while covering JD Vance’s ridiculed social media post featuring dolphin sexual content; includes subscriber shoutouts. |
| 28:03 | 35:53 | News: Dolphin Interview on JD Vance | Case interviews a dolphin character (trad dolphin wife) who criticizes JD Vance for lacking dolphin family values and alpha dolphin machismo; dolphin promotes $13.99 TikTok course. |
| 35:54 | 44:21 | News: Twitch Reported as Zombie Brand | Case and Tyler discuss Wall Street Journal report that Twitch remains unprofitable after 10 years under Amazon, faces potential layoffs, declining web traffic and ad revenue; Tyler jokes about being a Twitch subsidiary. |
| 44:22 | 50:13 | News: Kick Platform Check-In | Tyler browses Kick live on air, notes top streamers including xQc and Adin Ross; Case expresses reluctance to support Kick due to ownership concerns. |
| 50:35 | 1:04:54 | Munch & Crum: Munch & Crum: Avocado Toast vs. Grilled Cheese | Debate analysts Ralph Munchcut and Leonard Crum argue sandwich supremacy; Munch champions grilled cheese as the Zerg of sandwiches, Crum defends avocado toast texture symphony; grilled cheese wins 50-50 vote. |
| 1:04:55 | 1:15:29 | News: Olympics Coverage with Rick | Rick joins for Paris Olympics coverage; discusses condom packaging, Phrygian cap mascot ‘Frige’ (red poop hat), French revolutionary heritage, and Tony Estanguet’s liberty messaging. |
| 1:15:30 | 1:43:57 | Chet Guy the Science Eyes: Chet Guy the Science Eyes: Shingles Vaccine & Hand Science | Chet interrupts via science trigger; covers shingles vaccine possibly delaying dementia, wildfire smoke as dementia risk factor, then tests sizehim.com hand-scanning site for ‘perfect match’ — pays $1, receives ‘small big head pencil’ penis classification, disputes results. |
| 1:43:58 | 1:46:52 | News: Kendelle Phone Call | Case calls Kendelle mid-stream; she describes circuit training for TurboTax marketing, they exchange ‘I love you’ on air; chat hears everything. |
| 1:46:53 | 1:51:34 | News: Opening Ceremony Highlights & French Banter | Case and Rick watch Gojira/Les Mis opening ceremony clips; Rick continues anti-French commentary, Case challenges whether one can be racist against the French. |
| 1:51:35 | 2:14:19 | Jambalaya: Jambalaya: Who Is the Secret Future Ghost of Rick? | Panel (Chet, Liliana, Grandma Crumble Bottom, Tyler) answers chat questions to deduce which panelist is secretly future ghost of Rick; Tyler revealed as the secret future ghost; CIA rebrand discussed. |
| 2:14:48 | 2:28:18 | News: Semper Truth: Trump Ear Conspiracy | Guy Redacted analyzes AP photo of Trump’s ear post-assassination attempt, disputes healing timeline, identifies anomalies (possible blade, UFO, multiple holes), defends Trump’s jawline and blood lipstick. |
| 2:28:19 | 2:51:06 | How To with Jeb: How To with Jeb: O.J. Simpson, Banana Shaving, Pop Locking, Diddy Drink | Jeb presents O.J. Simpson murder reenactment (misread as orange juice), banana shaving tutorial, face-pop-locking with 80s dance instructors, and a ‘diddy’ cocktail (vodka lemonade); Jeb’s Dad co-hosts from wooden board. |
Characters
- Case Blackwell (speaking) — Anchored full broadcast; opened with new haircut and shirts; conducted dolphin interview, called Kendelle live, closed with Jeb studio origin story.
- Pepito (speaking) — executive producer. Delivered cold open sign-on; bantered with Case on national identity and countries; issued no hospitality demands this episode.
- Hype Train (speaking) — musical interruption. Derailed JD Vance dolphin story with freestyle raps over dolphin beats; acknowledged subscribers; declared immortality before fading.
- Tyler (speaking) — Co-hosted Twitch zombie brand segment, browsed Kick live, debated sandwiches in Munch & Crum, participated in Jambalaya panel, revealed as secret future ghost of Rick.
- Crum (Leonard Crum) (speaking) — debate analyst. Argued for avocado toast in Munch & Crum; cited tax write-offs for grilled cheese and mountain climbing; lost 50-50 vote.
- Munch (Ralph Munchcut) (speaking) — debate analyst. Championed grilled cheese as Zerg sandwich; howled wolf persona; won 50-50 vote; teased Case about second computer.
- Rick (speaking) — correspondent. Joined for Olympics coverage and opening ceremony highlights; insulted French mascot; participated in Jambalaya as secret subject.
- Chet (Chet Manscape) (speaking) — science correspondent. Triggered by ‘science’; covered shingles vaccine/dementia, wildfire smoke risk; tested sizehim.com hand scanner, paid $1, disputed ‘small big head pencil’ result.
- Grandma Crumble Bottom (speaking) — Jambalaya panelist; cited lawns as America’s best; worst time travel reason: not having sex with LBJ; Werther’s ectoplasm; Chrysler hood ornament lich headwear.
- Kendelle (speaking) — in-studio contributor. Received mid-stream phone call from Case; described TurboTax marketing circuit training; exchanged ‘I love you’ on air.
- Guy Redacted (speaking) — conspiracy correspondent. Delivered Semper Truth segment on Trump ear conspiracy; analyzed AP photo anomalies; defended Trump’s jawline and blood lipstick.
- Jeb Nogget (speaking) — instructional host. Hosted How To with Jeb; presented O.J. Simpson murder reenactment, banana shaving, face pop-locking, diddy cocktail; co-hosted with Jeb’s Dad.
- Jeb’s Dad (speaking) — co-host (spirit in board). Co-hosted How To from wooden board; bickered with Jeb; claimed to have met Rocket Ralph in astral plane.
Storyline updates
- No specific storyline updates recorded
Lore notes
- 09:00 Case Blackwell got a haircut and bought new shirts before broadcast.
- 52:51 Case Blackwell is considering purchasing a second computer to offload graphics processing.
- 1:27:05 Chet spent $1 of network funds on sizehim.com hand-scanning site using a company card.
- 1:29:37 Chet’s hand scan result classified his penis as ‘small big head pencil’ — he disputes the ‘small’ descriptor.
- 1:44:21 Kendelle is doing circuit training for TurboTax marketing campaigns.
- 2:49:08 Jeb Nogget helped Case Blackwell build the current studio setup years ago after overhearing him mumbling on the street.
- 2:46:04 Jeb’s son Jet has been declared a hero in newspapers multiple times; predicted Diddy’s human trafficking vibe in 2015.
Transcript
Full timestamped transcript: