Don Riggles
Don Riggles is a minor returning courtroom correspondent and trial witness on Barely Informed News, known for scatological commentary delivered in a gravelly elder register.
Overview & Persona
Riggles reappeared during the 2026-03-07 peen.ui IP mock trial after a long absence from the broadcast. Called to the stand mid-proceedings, he immediately framed the case as a “big fresh stack of ass pooping out smells” and later returned for a second pass to insult Crum’s breath and bowels.
His entire on-air vocabulary tends toward smells, gases, and digestive catastrophe — a fact he cheerfully acknowledges when challenged (“Why would you invite me? That’s my whole thing.”).
Appearances
| Episode | Notes |
|---|---|
| 2024-05-10 | roast comic. |
| 2024-02-27 | call-in guest. |
Notable Quotes
- “I’m Don Riggles.”
- “Big fresh stack of ass pooping out smells.”
- “I feel like I’m yenoed for sure at the smell of not just your breath, but your bowels, which seem to be coming out of your mouth hole.”
- “Why would you invite me? That’s my whole thing.”
Notable Moments
- [01:07:39] (2026-03-07): Takes the stand after a long absence and opens with the fresh-stack assessment of the trial.
- [01:24:39] (2026-03-07): Recalled by the court; pivots Domino’s conspiracy questions into smelly-gases testimony.
Open Questions
- How long was Riggles off-air before the peen.ui trial, and why?
- Is the elder face filter canonical form, or an occasional broadcast presentation?
See also: Coach McGurk, Jizbo, Crum, Episode 2026-03-07, On-Air Talent.
Notable moments
- [] (2024-02-27): Established as recurring roast comic character (not the real Don Rickles); claims 120 years old, brings own lighting, tours fictional venues. [1:09:55]
- [] (2024-05-10): Debuted new dyed hair and facial work; admits to dyeing hair. [01:04:56]